Teaching Gratitude in an All-About-Me World

Let’s face it: we all take things for granted. We forget how fortunate we are. Let’s make November a month of gratitude! Help your children focus on what they are grateful for. Read about it: The Secret of Saying Thanks by Douglas Wood. Talk about it: share 3 things you’re grateful for at dinner or bedtime. Make a Tree of Thanksgiving.

Training for Parent Educators – 10/25-26

Here, Now and Down the Road…Tips for Loving Parents is a strengths-based parent education program designed to promote the resilient development of young children. The program fosters positive parent-child relationships and enhances parents’ skills for teaching children to handle feelings, think independently, develop creativity, and solve problems. Join us for our upcoming training for parent educators.

Here, Now and Down the Road… Tips for Loving Parents

Training for Parent Educators

Richmond, Virginia    October 25-26

Registration Form

The Waiting Game

clock in grass

Waiting is Challenging for Children!

We have all faced the challenge of having to wait with young children. There is a lot of waiting in the world: waiting for others to finish snack, waiting at the doctor’s office, checking out at the grocery store, in line for rides at the fair, going to the bathroom at any event. We all have to wait.

How can we make waiting a little more fun, or at least survive without major meltdowns? Here are some ideas that might help.

Plan Ahead

First and foremost, take a few minutes BEFORE the waiting actually happens to prepare children – preferably well in advance. Talk about the fact that there will be some dull moments ahead. Ask what feelings they might have when they have to wait. How will they manage those feelings? Have them brainstorm ideas – what will make the waiting more fun or at least bearable?

When the waiting begins, remind them about that conversation. Check out the feelings first: “Remember you said you might feel mad, and you were right! Do you remember that you said you would take 3 deep breaths when you felt mad? Let’s do that together.”

Some Engaging Ideas to Pass the Time, Have Fun, and Even Learn Something!

Have your child pick one of the activities they came up with or try one of the following:

  • Guess Which Hand – put a small object in your hand and hide your hands behind your back. Have your child guess which hand is holding it. Give your child a turn holding the object and you guess.
  • Sounds Like – say a word and have the children think of all the words that rhyme with it. Start simple with words like ‘cat’ and ‘say’.
  • Guess What’s in My Purse/Backpack/Pocket – see how many items they can guess that are really there. In anticipation of this game, add a couple of unexpected things like a spoon or a bouncy ball or an adhesive bandage and give them hints. Added bonus: you will have those things should you need them.
  • Waiting Time Surprise – wrap small items in newspaper or tissue paper and bring them out at random times while waiting: figures with parachutes, paddle balls, pipe cleaners, bendable figures, small notepad and pencil, punch balls, playdough. (Be sure the item is appropriate for the waiting space).
  • Brainstorm – ask your children to come up with ideas for questions like: “What are all the things we could take on a picnic?” “What would you see on a walk in the city, or in the woods, or in a castle?” “What can you do to cheer up a friend?
  • Think Fast! – give a category and see how many answers a child can come up within 15 seconds. Some categories to get you started: animals with fur, things that fly, what you find in the ocean, kinds of fruit, things you see in a classroom, games that need a ball.
  • Creative Thinking Questions – come up with questions that get your child’s creativity working or try some of these:

If you could have a super power, what would it be? Why? What would you do with your special power?

If your pet could talk, what would it say?”

What would you do if you were invisible?

What do you love about being a kid?

What are your favorite smells?”

What 5 things would you take with you if you were going to live on a desert island?”

  • Build a Story – start a story, then stop after a few sentences and have children add a few sentences before passing it on. “Once upon a time a green lizard named Freddy was bored. He needed something fun to do. He started crawling towards his favorite pond and saw a big….”
  • Thumb Wrestling – “Okay, alright, I declare a thumb fight!
  • How Many Can You See? – look around the crowd and ask questions like, “How many people do you see wearing hats?” or “How many red shirts do you see?” “How many people have sunglasses on?
  • Even or Odd (for two or more children) – First have them guess if there will be an even or odd number of fingers. Then have the children stick out 1 or more fingers and count them up.
  • Drop a Leaf – drop a leaf holding it up high and see if your children can catch it before it lands.
  • Feelings Faces – take turns expressing different feelings with your face or by acting them out. Have the other person guess what the feeling is. Expand this by talking about times when you might feel the feeling that was acted out. “Tell me about what makes you sad.” or “What things do you find annoying?
  • 20 Questions – take turns thinking of an object and have the others ask yes or no questions until the object is guessed.
  • Alphabet Game – try to find each letter of the alphabet starting with ‘a’ on signs, ads, or tee-shirts around you.
  • Sing! – don’t worry about those around you. If you’re outside, sing lustily – maybe others will join in. If you are inside or need to be quiet, try singing songs in a whisper. Encourage your children to make up songs about what you are waiting to do, or what they see around them.
  • And don’t forget the standards: Rock, Paper, Scissors, and I Spy!
  • A small jar of bubbles is always popular and will engage others who are waiting, too!

By planning ahead for waiting times, we can prevent challenging behaviors – children will have fun, be creative, and they just might learn something, too!

 

4th Annual Healthy Al, Healthy Me Celebration: Having Fun AND Learning Healthy Habits!

Children in several states, Bermuda, and Canada recently celebrated Healthy Al, Healthy Me Day in grand style! Here are some highlights:

Fairyland family child care in Sandy, Utah made fruit smoothies and whole wheat french toast and egg kabobs for breakfast. Then they had a whole wheat tortilla feast for lunch! Beautiful and nutritious!

Ilse HAHM 2016

Ilse HAHM 2016 lunch

Children all got involved in special cooking activities at St. James Child Development Center in Richmond, Virginia. They also decorated hats and did yoga! The teachers said they enjoyed the day as much as the children did.

ViviLnk

ViviLnk

 

In Bermuda, children decorated their Healthy Al hats and wore their Al’s Pals tee shirts. They used a beautiful array of fresh fruit to make fruit kabobs, and sang “I’m a Healthy Child.”

Bermuda HAHM 2 cropped

Bermuda HAHM 4 cropped

 

Being active was a big part of the morning for children at the Childhood Early Enrichment Program in Lenore, Idaho. They talked about the importance of exercising and did a scarf dance and bean bag throw to prove it can be fun. They also had a healthy food tasting party and recorded their preferences (find the form here).

HAHM 2016 Tasting Party Form

 

At St. Andrews School in Richmond, Virginia, children loved hearing the Al’s Healthy Choices book and made veggie faces. They really enjoyed eating the vegetables afterward!

SAS whisker face

SAS Jazara

 

At the Huron-Superior Catholic School District in Sault Ste Marie, Canada children had a ‘fruit extravaganza’, played games, and even the superintendent came by to join the fun! Only disappointment – their pictures got deleted!

Strawberry picking was the first activity for children in Sau’nia Kay’s family child care in New Bern, North Carolina. They took the strawberries to a retirement home and worked with their friends there to make a strawberry, spinach, almond, and mandarin orange salad! What a fun and delicious inter-generational activity!

strawberry-mandarin-spinach-salad

HAHM 2016 Saunia

Our friends at CACS Head Start in Lansing, Michigan invited Very Important Families to join them for their special activities. They read and acted out Al’s Action Story, sang songs about being happy, and had a nutritious snack together.

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

Children at Michelle’s Playland in Suffolk, Virginia were moving all morning. They did some exercise routines and then finished up with lots of dancing!

At the Shady Grove Y in Richmond, they celebrated as part of Healthy Kids Day. Everyone made a Healthy Al hat and they set up a Calm Down spot where several children took a moment to chill.

HAHM 2016 Shady Grove Y 3

 

 

 

Cultivating Cooperation

“Our Morning Routine is Not What My Child Has in Mind”

It’s almost time to go out the door and head off to school.  The last time you checked, your four-year-old was taking off her pj’s and was on the verge of getting dressed. Ah, you think to yourself, “It will be a good day.” Now, five minutes later, not only is she still in her pj’s, but she has slipped her sweater on, backwards, over the pj’s. You gently remind her that it is time to get dressed to get ready for school and help her take off the tangled sweater. Instead of getting dressed, she starts to play with a puzzle. Exasperated, and concerned about the time, you pull off her pajamas and put her clothes on, even though she has successfully dressed herself many times before. You sigh. So much for the day starting off smoothly.

Most of us have struggled, at some point, with trying to persuade a preschooler to get ready or finish eating on time. And it is so easy to become annoyed when they don’t comply. We try to stay calm but the more she does her own thing and acts “contrary”, the more we find ourselves feeling frustrated, anxious, and even angry. And on top of that, we start feeling stressed about being late. The more we try to “force” the child, the more resistant she may become and the situation can easily escalate.

Avoid Power Struggles by Engaging Children

Sometimes a shift in our approach can be helpful.  As adults we often find ourselves telling young children what to do and how to do it.  When they don’t comply, we often blame the child for “not listening.”  This can quickly become a power struggle and ultimately no one really “wins.”  Rather than telling young children what to do, we can periodically try a different approach – we can engage them in the process. Young children crave – and NEED – independence.  They want to assert themselves and be in control of themselves. Don’t we all want that? So one of the keys to having children cooperate is to give them some control, while still maintaining expectations.

Strategies to Encourage Children’s Cooperation 

Some tried and true strategies to encourage children’s cooperation:

  • Be proactive. Talk ahead of time about expectations like being ready for school on time. For example, over the weekend, when you and your child are both calm and relaxed, talk together about the steps of the morning routine. Be sure to include your child in coming up with ideas for what she needs to do to get ready (i.e. wash hands and face, brush teeth, get dressed, eat breakfast).
  • Use visuals to help guide and remind your child. For example, create a chart together using pictures for each step. Or write each step on a tongue depressor, and include a picture of it to serve as a cue. Place the tongue depressors in a red cup. As your child completes each step she places them in a green cup. Once all the tongue depressors are in the green cup, it signals to your child that she is finished and ready to go.  And gives her a feeling of accomplishment.

  • Make the task into a quick game. For example, challenge your child to see if she can put her pants and shirt on before you reach 1 when you count backwards from 10. Or incorporate the task into a nursery rhyme: challenge her to finish brushing her teeth before you get to six in the “Buckle My Shoe” nursery rhyme of “one, two, buckle my shoe, three, four, shut the door, five, six, pick up sticks.”

Note: Expect to change up the game every so often – if it’s no longer working, it’s time to try something new.

  • Recognize when your child does cooperate – thumbs up, high fives, specific verbal comments like “nice job putting the toys back on the shelf.”

When Children Feel Empowered

This phase does not last forever.  At the time they are going through it, it can certainly pluck our every nerve.  While it is important for children to learn to follow instructions, we can help them navigate this struggle for independence by giving up some control, allowing them to gain some control. By finding creative ways to involve them, we promote their independence and they gain a sense of accomplishment. Making daily tasks into fun challenges can help motivate children and they often will rise to the occasion and cooperate on their own.  Rather than resulting in a power struggle, it ends up being a “win-win.”

For more tips, check out the Cooperation tab on “In a Nutshell” and
download Take Five: Countdown to Cooperation.

Being Truly Present With Children Is a “Priceless” Gift

What’s a Perfect Present for Young Children?

There is a no-cost, easy-to-acquire gift that supports the overall well-being and personal happiness of young children:  Be More Present.

Being more present with children sounds simple, but for many of us our daily lives feel more and more chaotic. We often feel stressed and distracted – so much to do and so little time.

 

Tune Out the Distractions and Tune In to Children

Many adults today are plugged in non-stop and maintain hectic schedules.  Balancing work lives (in or out of the home) and family lives can be tough.  Parents and children are often “together”, but not really together. How many of us have found ourselves talking with our children, nodding our heads, but not really hearing what they are saying because we are distracted by other things? We are physically present but we might be thinking about a disagreement we had with a friend or an email that needs to be finished. Without even realizing it, we are often focused on the past or the future, preventing us from being truly “present.”  It takes conscious effort to focus on the moment at hand.

 

Connecting with Children Helps Them Feel Valued

Young children are intensely present every day, every moment, absorbing and learning.  They can be thoroughly engaged watching a squirrel wind its way up a tree or stomping in a puddle. In a child’s perfect world, their favorite adults will slow down and appreciate their interest in the squirrel’s acrobatics or how high the puddle water will splash. Those adults will take a little time to have that meaningful, in-the-moment interaction.

Consider offering your child (and yourself) the sweet gift of tuning in.  Create some time to simply be more present, on purpose, with your child – even for just a few minutes. When you focus on your child and engage with him, you give your child a valuable message: “You matter. You are important. You deserve my time and attention.”

The gift of bring present  - giving your full attention.
The gift of bring present – giving your full attention.

Tips for Being (More) Present with Children

Of course, we can’t always be tuned in to our children. We have things that need to get done. And we are busy. And tired. And sometimes, in our jam-packed world, it’s ok to “listen” and nod while we think about those things. But connecting with a child for just a few minutes can have a huge impact.  A few strategies are:

  • When your child is telling you something, try to stop what you are doing, and really listen when you can. Let your presence show by validating your child’s feelings, making comments, or asking questions.
  • Watch for opportunities to connect with your child: in the car, walking the dog, settling down at bedtime. Whether for 10 minutes or an hour, focus on being ‘all in’ during this time. Let your child know she has your attention by looking at her, touching her shoulder, or holding her hand.
  • Put your phone away when possible. Let your child see that you value him above all else.
  • Plan a ‘together time’ or ‘just us time’ or ‘the two of us time’ and let your child choose a quiet activity for the two of you. Keep ‘together time’ media-free. Just making a long line of cars or drawing with markers or doing puzzles together creates opportunities for quiet sharing, or simply being close. If you have more than one child, let each know that they will have their chance for ‘together time’ too. Maybe it’s once a week, and maybe it’s for 10 minutes, but it’s invaluable.

Don’t worry if it’s not always a magical “movie moment.”  Sometimes children are cranky just as we are taking a moment to be present. That’s life. You’ll have another chance.

 

Being Present Can Reap Many Positive Benefits

While we all struggle to find the right balance, it is worth the time and effort to deepen our bonds with our children. Being present with your child helps them feel valued and develop a sense of self-worth.  They may even be more cooperative and are likely to show improved behavior. All the result of our truly listening and showing genuine interest in them.

As we reflect back on our own childhood, it is not the stuff we got for birthdays or holidays that stands out, but it is those times spent with a caring and present adult that was the best gift of all.

 

Free Resources for a Healthy New Year

Are you looking for research-based, practical, and easy-to-use resources that promote healthy eating and physical activity in young children? We can help! Take a look at the games, fun activities, and healthy snack ideas here.

 

 

Teaching Gratitude in an All-About-Me World

Let’s face it: we all take things for granted. We forget how fortunate we are. Let’s make November a month of gratitude! Help your children focus on what they are grateful for. Read about it: The Secret of Saying Thanks by Douglas Wood. Talk about it: share 3 things you’re grateful for at dinner or bedtime. Make a Tree of Thanksgiving.